I have not been persistent...

So I have this workshop about foreign missions coming up in a few days, which I'm super excited about! Four days with a couple good friends in Michigan, what's not to love? (Other than the fact that it's in Michigan.) BUT...

I've been totally ignoring anything and everything surrounding that topic since I signed up a couple weeks back.

Yes, I am super excited about my future and where God's going to lead me. But every time I think I'm smooth sailing, good to go, nothing holding me back, BOOM, doubt once again surfaces. No, no, maybe it's not doubt. It's more of fear. I'm too scared to actually start pursuing things to set me up for opportunities post-college. Why? I'm afraid that I might choose the "wrong" thing and mess everything up.
But then I think, I'm worrying about choosing the "wrong" path...so am I praying about it? Consistently and fervently? Including God in my decisions? - no, rather focusing my decisions on God and praying for direction?

.....no.....

Well shoot. I shouldn't even be complaining then. I have a clear way to calm my fears. PRAY.

Also, I'm feeling very insecure. I read through the list of people going to the workshop and most have been on multiple foreign mission trips before. I haven't even felt called (or secure enough) to go on the out-of-country foreign missions trips offered by my home church or my campus church. And I know I've had it in my mind and on my heart since the end of high school that foreign missions was where I was meant to be, but I feel like I know nothing about it (reason #1 I'm attending this workshop) and I feel like it is something so abstract to many people I talk to. Why? Because at this point, I'm not going to have anything that most would see as a helpful skill in going over there, wherever "there" is. Which kind of freaks me out too. I don't even know what I'm doing. I don't even know what I can offer.

I can love people and serve them. And I suppose that the Bible does say that God equips whom He calls, not the other way around. (I suppose?? This is a great truth that I am not able to fully appreciate right now, it seems.)
Philippians 1:6  "Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
Hebrews 13:20-21  "Now may the God of peace...equip you with everything good for doing His will, and may He work in us what is pleasing to Him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever and ever."

I needed that reminder. That this is GOD'S story, and He is going to make happen what is supposed to happen. He wants His children to love and serve one another, ultimately bringing all of us closer to Him. So if I'm trying my darndest to love and serve, I doubt He will leave me hanging.

I also have not been praying about a couple (ok, a few) other things. So if any prayer warriors out there feel like helping me out, I'd greatly appreciate it :)
A) What to do with the free time I'm going to have this summer and in May. I'd love to spend it volunteering and investing in friends, coworkers, and classmates, but the specifics of those are hard to pin down.
B) In anticipation of the fall, I'm going to have to decide which team at h2o I'm going to be a part of. Half the year I was thinking that I would go to off-campus because that would be more my age (somewhat) and hopefully closer to me. But then I realized, why would I want to leave South Scarlet? So now I'm just not sure. I've got a while, but I would like to be prepared and have some idea this summer - so praying now! Also, whether or not to lead a small group next year.
C) My fall semester is going to be terrible time-wise. So I'm considering dropping one of the classes and putting it off until the spring. However, I'm not sure if I need to, but I've been reminded of the fact that I said (and know) that relationships are something I really value developing, and people time is hard to have when I'm overwhelmed by a million classes. So whether or not to drop that class.
D) I have a lot of pride associated with my grades. I said to my team leader, Kathy, earlier this semester that I'd realized that grades in my classes were the one thing I would not give up for God. And once I said it out loud I realized how bad that was. So that has been challenging me because I never thought about God calling me to give up the 4.0 I'm obsessed with to build into Him and His children. It's one of the more challenging thoughts I've had recently.

Thanks to whoever is reading! :)

Peace & Blessings