First! (from earlier)

today has been hard. for a few reasons.

it was hard loving people today. not the people that are easy to love. a few of my older coworkers, a couple of the pathologists, and some of my classmates...they weren't hard to love. in fact, i had some wonderful conversations today with them. i feel like they're an adopted family in a way. i guess i do that with the people i'm surrounded by. not that that's a bad thing, i don't think.

but the people that were hard to love...my boss, my professor, certain acquaintances...well, i did not love well today.

and i realized i complain a lot. like way more than my life allows. about work (shouldn't i be thankful that i 1. have a job? 2. have one that pays well? 3. where i don't have to cook greasy food? 4. where i enjoy my coworkers? 5. where my boss is incredibly flexible and understanding with hours?), about school (shouldn't i be thankful that my parents have the money to put me through whatever college i chose? that i'm intelligent and for the most part am not drowning in my classwork? that i can live in a wonderful city and attend a well-known university?), about not being able to focus (shouldn't i be amazed and thankful for all the luxury, but really, things around me that allow for distractions? and shouldn't i just suck it up and work because i'm studying as though i'm studying for the Lord?), about having to go to the doctor/dentist/etc (shouldn't i be thankful i have insurance and have the luxury to go when i need to and not worry about the cost?), and so many other things...

I AM SO BLESSED.

it's something that He has been reminding me of, hour after hour, day after day, week after week. no matter if i'm stressed, exuberant, failing, succeeding....He shows me again and again that He deeply cares for me and i am not alone in this.

Brandon Heath's "As Long As I'm Here" reminds me of my mission in life. To love unconditionally and indiscriminately; to humbly serve the last, the lost, the least; and to praise the Good Lord who made me, saved me, and forgave me.

Some day I'll pass through the great sky above
And the first thing I'll ask is how well did I love?
Did I leave the world any better than it was before?
Of all the things I've done, could I have done any more?

'Cause it took me a while just to find my feet
And to learn how to stand on my own
But You gave me the heart and the time I would need
To find You and make it back home where I belong

Some day I'll go to the great, wide beyond
Where Moses and Mary and Jacob and my loved ones have gone
But I will rejoice in today and the journey I'm on
And I'll keep on praying and pressing on until dawn

Only to see a glimpse of Your face
To peek in to Heaven, time and space
Oh, to feel my own frailty and tremble in fear
To know You are with me as long as I'm here
Oh, as long as I'm here

Some day I'll pass through the great sky above
And the first thing I'll ask is how well did I love?

Peace & Blessings