I've been thinking about all I wanted to do this school year, and with that, realizing all that I have not accomplished, at least from this list. It's kind of upsetting, really. However, I did realize something else. GOD has done a lot this year. In me, around me, and maybe even through me. In that aspect, it's been pretty dang productive. So I'm going to list out all that I can remember! It's always a great thing to look back on and cling to in the darker days. It's dragged me out of the grim places more than a few times.
(And yes, I am doing this instead of studying for my finals. I needed a break, alright?)
- I've made countless friends on the 2 mission trips I've been on with h2o this year, to Tuscaloosa, AL with Habitat for Humanity, and Altamont, TN with Mountain T.O.P.
- Through both of these, He's also introduced me to the most amazing communities I've ever experienced. Joking, loving, pursuing deep relationships, encouraging, refocusing, and serving are the things held dear.
- He's shown me His truest colors, an incredible and unwavering agape love, in the way of blooming relationships, answered prayers (even when I was not persistent in asking!), forgiveness given me by friends, using others as angels to help me out, and just little miracles and moments that made everything work out better than expected. AND in being able to see what He is doing in people's lives around me, which is always extremely encouraging. He has shown me how active He truly is!
- I shouldn't even get myself started on what He's been doing in regards to my future. I've gone from nursing (being happy to be there to uncomfortable with what that path meant), back to pre-med, and now just Molecular Genetics...which I don't think I'll even be using post-undergrad. It's been a roller coaster ride without a doubt. BUT, He's brought me to a place where I am actually comfortable and excited about not knowing what my future holds, even just next year. I have never been able to say that before without it being a complete lie.
- He has truly opened my eyes to the opportunities around me, past just medicine or whatever else I was clinging to.
- He has kindled in me a HUGE passion for serving and loving people!
- He has shaped and changed not just what I tell people my passions are, but really what they are (i.e. lost the passion for medicine, gained more for serving/loving, and even how I feel about other people, aka in relationships).
- A few weeks ago, I feel like He really answered my prayer for at least a glimpse into what my unknown future would hold. Through the relationships I've been able to form with people in my classes this semester, and at work and h2o, He's given me a newfound love for people that I didn't always have before. He's shown me that whatever my future holds, I'm going to need to have time to invest in people, learn about them and be a part of their lives! I want to use my life as an example of radical, unequivocal love that I know (and I hope others will see) comes straight from God. And yes, I am acknowledging that I will make mistakes and will fail because I am not perfect. But here's to trying, and here's to knowing that I'm not alone in this mission :)
- I got the opportunity to co-lead a small group for h2o this year! There were struggles and joys, but I am so thankful for the opportunity. I feel like every time I've had a leadership position, God has used it to grow me in the qualities a servant leader needs!
- I was encouraged this year in Tennessee by being a co-leader of a tribe that seemed to really grow together and mesh, after a tough time being a leader the past year and realizing that I had no idea what I was doing. This year God allowed me to come in to the trip with no expectations (not needing it to be better/worse than the last 2 years), but a desire to be one with my group, and to lead them by serving and humbling myself. Which, was challenging, but God helped me immensely and really grew me as a leader and a friend :)
- Through my Lenten promise to give up alcohol (shhh I know I'm not 21 yet...), God has shown me how faithful He really is. Once I got the courage to get the words "I gave up alcohol for Lent" out of my mouth, He helped me stick to it. It was an eye opener, and wasn't even that difficult with His help. He let me take a step back from the situation and see the harm it can do me.
- I was even able to talk to my dad about my struggles, and learn more about my family's history with that sort of thing, and have a reminder that no matter what happens, I have a strong support system at home. They've shown me grace and understanding.
This is not at all an exhaustive list, but WOW, I'm astounded at this year already! I'm only stopping because I have to go to work. (Another thing I need to add to this list! And my struggles with singleness, so that I don't forget.)
Peace & Blessings
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