Remember how great I felt on Tuesday? How happy I was to be in food service and how much I was enjoying my time loving on the customers and my coworkers?
Yeah. I walked into work the next day and it felt completely different. I didn't want to even smile at the customers. I didn't have the energy even to talk to them at a normal hearing level. Today was tough too. I have had the hardest time loving people the last couple days and it has been really emotionally challenging.
The devil attacked the happiness I'd found at my job(s) and tried to shake me. Well, he did shake me a little...but this morning I leaned really heavily on God to hold me together. Nothing was going right, my bagels were burning, I was behind, and I got flustered. I wanted to just give up, sit down, and cry (what am I, three years old?). But we all know times like that. I prayed. I talked to God for about an hour straight as I stood in front of the oven. I begged Him to help me hold myself together, and I asked for the strength to come out of this funk and love people the way He would want me to.
I feel so much better now than I did at 5:45am. He has been faithful. He has taken care of me, given me the strength to push through, and even started to answer my prayer that I could learn what it means to be reliant on Him. He drew me closer when I was at the edge of crumbling.
The devil's plans did not work out- this challenge to my excitement to love people only drew me closer to God. God is good, even when we do not feel good.
Even last night, when I was feeling exhausted and mentally/emotionally done with the day, He sent me a couple nice ladies at work who talked to me about my future and Jesus and it was really refreshing.
Maybe this all seems like a little thing. But for me, this is big. This is me being able to clearly see and feel God with me. I haven't felt that in a while because I've been running from Him, whether on purpose or subconsciously. This means a better understanding for me of what it looks like to lean on Him even when I want to give up or lean on another human.
And I thank You, God, for that. <3
Peace & Blessings
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