Waking up to "me" again

This is going to sound weird, so bear with me.

I feel like I just woke up and I'm back to myself again. These past couple months, now that I'm looking back, didn't feel like me. Or at least, I wasn't the person I had been or wanted to be. I want to blame it on the exhaustion from working 55+ hour weeks, or just never sleeping, or the combination of that and not eating well/not doing cardio...but if I'm honest, it might have been from something deeper than that.

This thing called freedom, or independence. Like I said in my last post, I've been caught up in being my own adult person and in the fact that I can, indeed, support myself. So I ignored God just like I ignored half the people in my life because I just didn't have the energy from the excess of work I was putting myself through because it meant I could save more money/be an adult with security.

I want to care for people again, I feel like I lost that. I used to love doing things for people, no matter what it meant, and I'd be willing and happy to do it. Lately, I've done many things begrudgingly, and it's ugly. It's an ugly way to be and I didn't know where it was coming from. But I think now this is God pursuing my heart, and me finally allowing him to do so.

I'm excited again about people, about relationships, like my relationship with God, and I'm glad I've woken up to this.

Happy to feel like me again.

Now:  pursuing God again, because if I'm honest, I haven't been. Learning what it means to "lay my life down for Christ," because that's a hard thing to do or even understand what it means for each person's life.

Peace & Blessings

Side note:  I'm trying veganism, since I can't have dairy anyways and I've been eating a lot of meat lately and I've felt bleh. (Except I'm still eating eggs for now, because they're too yum to give up just yet. So call me a cheater if you want but whatevskis.)