Moving Ahead

Some really super stuff has been happening with me in regards to my relationship with God, and I'm psyched about it- so I needed to tell you all!

About midway through last week, my heart was feeling heavy with all the things I hadn't taken to God in so long. See, I have this problem with asking for help- I suppose not too much in general, like with people (okay, you got me, sometimes...), but definitely from God. For so long I've thought that I have to do so much myself, get myself so far, bring myself close enough to God that he will help me do the rest. But that's just not the way it works. We need God to help us get to Him. Which seems a litle strange but hey, we're just humans. So anyways, this other night I felt like I needed to present all of this to Him and just let go of it all...so I did. There were tears but it was good and I finally started feeling this peace He gives and the freedom that comes along with living with Him.

Now I've been craving time with Him, been excited about being in the Word and praying and learning more about Him. It's so cool, guys!

The biggest thing I asked help with, that I'm going to ask you guys to pray for me for as well, is pride. I struggle so much with it...and personally, I think it's at the heart of all sin. I was talking to another person here about it, specifically about how we hate that prideful thoughts clog our minds. It's just so awful to experience them when we know that they are false thoughts. So I asked God to help take those thoughts away and change me for the better. Prayers for that please?

Another thing. This thought came to me in the shower last night (apparently the best place to think, haha). For so many years now, I've been all about (at least on missions trips) getting things done, getting to the endpoint, finishing projects, physical projects for people, but I've never focused much on the relational aspect of it all. I guess I've always thought that we were there to help people by building this, or cleaning out that, or being extra hands for this other thing...but I never focused on getting to know the people around me in any sense more than their name or maybe praying for them once. To me, that has always been the less important, more trivial part of a missions trip. But God is changing that in me...this whole trip, when I thought for me personally would look like a bunch of construction projects, has looked a lot more like building relationships with the kids of an orphanage, the community around it, and people in the church. Wow. And God has shown me how crucial that is, and also how much I've enjoyed it. Yeah, it's a bit harder to build deep relationships when there's some language barrier, or when the people are in such a different culture than you're used to, but maybe that makes it even cooler that we're still able to. I've learned so much...what a church community is supposed to look like. What reaching out to a city is supposed to look like. What living your life for Christ and for the advancement of the Kingdom is supposed to look like...they really do that here. I have rarely seen such faith and such love for our fellow men. It's beautiful.

Not only that, but the 19 LTers here have the chance to bring that back home with us. No, friends, the learning and the mission doesn't stop here, in two weeks when we leave. We have the chance to make this happen wherever we go...because God is with us. My church back in my hometown says it best, in a sign over the door as you walk out:  "You are now entering your mission field." It isn't limited to Choluteca, Honduras, or Altamont, Tennessee, or Coney Island, New York...and even in this case, it's not even limited to just outside the church. It's anywhere a Christian is, because that is where the power of God is in the Holy Spirit. Boom. Awesome.

Anyways, I'm trying to ignore that there are only two weeks left here...And the fact that I don't want to leave. It's going to rip my heart into pieces...I think a part of me will always be here, and I know that someday I will come back to find it. That, my friends, is a promise. Hold me to it. :)

Peace & Blessings