Here it is.

Just watched The Office finale, and it's got me all emotional and nostalgic.

It makes me really excited for the rest of my life. Makes me think, want to cherish every single moment I have because you never know how much the littlest, silliest things can mean or how they can change your life forever.

And I'm about in tears right now just thinking about everyone leaving next year. I know I'll always know my best friends that I've made here. But there's still something intrinsically sad about leaving the place you grew up in. I may have started in Monroe, NC and continued in Wadsworth, OH, but so much has changed because of my experiences and the people I've met in Columbus, OH. I wish I could say it better, that I could type the words these tears are trying to express.

We're growing up. I guess when I was little, 21 seemed so far away. Marriage, kids, a "big girl" job...those were all so abstract. But now that 21 is only three months away and graduation a year and a half...I'm realizing I hardly know how I got here. I wish I had a documentary of my life, like The Office, so I could go back and look at all the little things that made me who I am, some that I didn't even realize. But I suppose I can't dwell on the past. Just be thankful for it.

I have a lot of love to give. A lot of love, but it's all from God. I guess I'm just scared I won't be able to get it all out, give it all away. But that's not my responsibility, I guess, to make sure that everyone is loved. All I can do is my best and let God do the rest.

My fears? Not for me. I'll be okay. I have so much joy and so much hope, in God and all He can do here on this earth. There are so many angels all around us, I'm convinced. And He'll make everything work out. I can't wait to see you all in heaven. And I want to do everything possible to make sure I see you. The pain of this earth breaks my heart. Maybe I have to realize that I don't need to do something big and spectacular with my life to change the world. Maybe it's just loving people. And I'm 100% okay with that.

Dang. I can hardly see what I've typed through my tears. I promise they're happy. They're excited tears. For your lives, for mine.

...This song (because music is the air I breathe) was the backdrop to this blog post. Take a listen, I love it. You can get this song on NoiseTrade.com if you like it (search bonnaroo) for free! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAiAJXkSe78

Life is good. God is good.

Peace & Blessings

A Change of Pace?

I'm really excited!

The EXPLORE Workshop has come to a close and has left me with something very different than what I expected. I came into this hoping to hone in on God's "mission" calling for me, still not having much of an idea what that might be. I'd thought for so long that it would be out of the country and I'd very much clung to this idea, and somewhat settled with the idea that God had this planned for me and now I could just push on forward and do it! Of course, that is definitely not the right way to go about it. I will change nothing in this world without God directing it and God actually being the one working on people's hearts, minds, and souls. Which, as a prideful, wanna be "self-sufficient" individualist in an individualistic culture is hard for me to take in and be at peace with. But when I look at the reasoning for, the foundation of why I want to change and repair what I do, I see that this is all based on God and His qualities and His love for the people of this world.

Here's what's going on now:
Today, something a leader of my church said got me surprisingly fired up. He was talking about how there was a partnership of churches in Lansing and the surrounding area that worked together to meet the needs of the least of these...the single and struggling mothers and teen moms, the families with parents out of a job that are grasping at straws to get by, the widows, the orphans, the physically and mentally handicapped, the homeless, and the elderly. Each area church specializes in meeting a different need, such as baby clothes, diapers, caregivers, you name it, and when there is a need in that area, that church steps up and meets that person where they are, serving them and caring for them like maybe no one else would.

First thing I thought? THIS DISMANTLES THE BYSTANDER EFFECT. Which, if you've studied psychology/sociology, you'll know is the phenomenon of seeing someone suffering or hurting, but passing by and not helping simply because there are a lot of other people around you. This "crowd" falsely assures you that someone else will come to this person's rescue. This ends in a lack of aid and an extension and exacerbation of pain. But if there is an "institution" in place, this local partnership of churches, where there is specialization, these needs, these people, will not be ignored. Cannot be ignored. Why? Because the buck stops there. No excuse for ignorance.

Let me tell you a little about what I am feeling called to, but first, more of what I believe...

There are things intrinsically wrong with how this country is run. No, this time not the politicians (though I could probably talk forever on corruption and greed). This time, the basis and purpose of the government and the role the Church plays in our society and in meeting this nation's needs.

• The government was created to be a structured leadership for this nation. One that made laws and found ways to improve the country as a whole. It was concerned with directly and accurately representing the people, namely through democracy.
• The Church is a body. A vessel of God's love and care and compassion for the world. The radically new church of Acts 2 shows the members loving and serving one another in the most selfless ways. You had plenty? You [happily and willingly] supported those who didn't. This reached throughout the whole community and no one went without. This was true community - and they loved it.
• This community and service oriented "body" was focused on bypassing the iniquities people suffered and the separation between the poor and rich. Why? Because it's all God's anyways. None of it is anything we can take with us when we leave this world. They didn't turn people away because they seemingly had nothing to offer. And, mind you, this was still back in the time where people believed if you were blessed with riches it was God blessing you, i.e. you must have been doing something right. And they were still giving up their money to those less well off.

There are more efficient ways to do everything, of this I am certain. This can apply to helping, to churches, as well. 

What if churches all over banded together to love and serve people, the least of these, the way that Jesus would, were He still on earth in the flesh? The way God designed us to care for one another? 

Well, here's the kicker:  there are already conferences of churches formed all over this country.

But this is probably something you knew.

At these annual conferences or gatherings, much of what is discussed, I presume (and somewhat know) is doctrine. And sure, this is important for the Church to run smoothly. But I highly doubt that all this time spent discussing such things is really needed. (Now, I do not want to offend anyone or say that these conferences are useless, because that is definitely not what I believe.)

This is what I'm really excited about:

What if the Church spent more time figuring out how to love their communities (local and global) than how to get higher numbers in their pews on Sunday morning? 

One of my pastors from back home is using this idea of missional community instead of invitational community to lead his new church plant in Columbus (C3-CampusCityChurch) - and it's just now hitting me how completely amazing that is. Why? Because allowing people to see God in us first is many times a lot more effective than just telling them about Him. And how do we do that? By loving and serving them humbly and selflessly. 

Plus, God commands us to care for the orphan, the widow, the last, lost, and least. So what are we doing sitting on our butts?! (I am guilty of this laziness also so I am not judging, just calling out this behavior in all of us to better this planet.)

I am convinced that between God (okay, let's be honest, all God - for we can do pretty much nothing without Him) and the small services we can do for our neighbors that WE CAN TURN THIS WORLD AROUND.

What do I want to do? Serve. Research. Draft up a plan. That's right, not just an idea - but a well thought out plan. You might wonder, what are you even thinking you can do with this plan, Jenna? Well, the hope is, God willing and leading, present it to these conferences. Get an audience with some influence. Get people on my side and get them EXCITED. Why? Because the way I see it, this is a revolution. This is new and radical (though it shouldn't be) and in reality, no Christian should be opposed. I mean...it's helping people. It's loving people.

Do good.
Do no harm.
Love God & love others.

Simple as that. Let me know if you want to be a part of this! I'm not backing down, and neither will my faith in the one true God.

Peace&Blessings

So far!

Two people loving the Lord makes instant connections. I love it!

However, my time here has already challenged me by forcing me to look at the ways in which I act and how that affects others.
Mainly, in trusting others. I believe that, perhaps for quite a while now, God has been challenging me to humble myself. This might mean during a group project I would have to back off and trust people to do what they were assigned. I'm worried that when this is applied to school it will mean giving up my grades...which is something I just cannot bear to do. I suppose it's one thing I find my identity in. If I'm not the A+ student, sometimes I fail to see who I am. Which I realize is a very skewed view of myself and even what is important in life. But hey, that's where I'm at right now.

Also, I'm pretty terrified right now.

Why?
Because I'm afraid that this foreign workshop will tell me that this is not what I'm meant to do. But...then what do I do? I guess I had kind of planned on this being what I turned to. Which means I'm not trusting God with my future...just giving myself the illusion that I was. I guess this is another thing I need God's help with.

Otherwise I'm really enjoying the company and the time in Michigan! :)

Peace & Blessings