Connections

I feel like Peter. Peter the disciple of Jesus in the Bible.

Have you ever had that? Where you read about or find out about people's actions and you know exactly what they were thinking? That you would have been right there with that person? You feel this strange connection that you can't explain and even though you're separated by so much time and space, you feel like you're understood.

That's how I've been feeling for a few months now, with Peter. What sparked it, you might ask? A few things.
1) I'm a "do-er," meaning I like to take action and I learn by doing things. So when Mary Magdalene came to the disciples on the third day after Jesus' death and told them the tomb was empty, and Peter took off running to the tomb to see for himself (Luke 24:12), it just felt right. Like of course you would run there immediately. Also with this, Peter didn't want to just see miracles happen, he wanted to be a part of it himself. He wanted to DO. So, when the disciples saw Jesus coming to them on the water, Peter calls out and asks if he can come to Jesus on the water too (Matthew 14:22-33). He loses faith (which also resonates) and Jesus must save him, but he wants with all his heart to believe and do it too.

2) Peter did not hesitate to question. He was curious and didn't see any point in waiting to ask, maybe since Jesus was right there with Him (example, Matthew 18:21). I understand this- I'm curious and figure I might as well just ask.

3) Peter often acts rashly and makes mistakes. The time I was most reminded of this was when they were in the garden of Gethsemane the night Jesus was betrayed; Peter sees the guards going in for Jesus and cuts off one of their ears (John 18:10), for which Jesus rebukes him. I've done many things without thinking or asking, simply on a whim that they will advance Christ's efforts. I understand that.

A week ago, I decided to look into it a little more and did some researching via Google (thank you, internet!). Not to my surprise, I found a lot more similarities.
1) I think Jesus knew that Peter needed a little something extra, needed to see a few more miracles than perhaps the other disciples did to really understand. Jesus always brought Peter along with him, whether it was to witness miracles or the transfiguration. Jesus so badly wanted to help Peter understand who He was and what He was doing here on the earth. Sometimes I feel God is doing this with me.

2) Peter is a little proud. He seems to not want to receive anything that he doesn't deserve- or that someone else should be giving. The most salient example of this is when Jesus goes to wash the disciple's feet in John 13. When it comes to Peter, he can't imagine how it would be right for Jesus to wash his feet- I think it even makes him uncomfortable. It seems he has a hard time receiving things, which I totally get. It's difficult for me to receive compliments, favors, or help with nearly anything. In reference to the latter, it is because of some pride. Also, Peter, after refusing to have his feet washed, asks then for his whole body to be cleansed, as though he needs assurance in his salvation after having these doubts or hearing from Jesus that Peter is in the wrong. I feel I try to make up for things all the time after I'm wrong, to make sure I'm okay.

3) Jesus may also have known that Peter needed some repetition to learn or transition, much as I do in a lot of areas of my life. Before Jesus left for heaven, He asked Peter three times if Peter loved Him, and if so, that he was to "feed His sheep." Peter gets a little annoyed by the third time and tells Jesus that He knows that Peter does love Him. (John 21:14-17) When I feel like I'm in the same battle again and again, I do get a little annoyed and often tell God, hey, I've already learned this...why do I have to go through this pain again? when really I've got myself back into the same situation of my own accord. Sometimes I really need things drilled into my head before I finally understand and have learned.

4) Peter had to know. When Jesus was arrested, even after all the other disciples fled, Peter followed Jesus and his captors. Though he denied Jesus three times (like he was told he would; Luke 22:54-62), he did follow and did feel an incredible amount of shame from the denials- wept bitterly. Again, this is a curious mind yet a sometimes fickle outward show. I feel that.

5) I've often felt as though I am deep in the middle of a spiritual battle. I feel the pull of each side very strongly, and sometimes in a very real way. Jesus says to Peter one time that Satan has wanted to "sift all of [them] as wheat," (Luke 22:31-32), but that Jesus has prayed for Peter and asks him to strengthen his brothers when he "turns back." Just like I'm sure it reassured Peter, it is wonderful to know that Jesus is on our side and is protecting us from the devil.

I love this. It makes me feel understood and closer to Jesus than I have many times before. It also reminds me that there is always room for improvement, always ways to grow. There is no endpoint in faith- rather, it is a journey.

I encourage you all to get into the Word and really connect with the words and the characters. Read between the lines- I always feel so much emotion emanating from the pages when I read. Think of it less of a book and more of an interactive story. Sure, the tales and histories are old, but I think there is truth in all of them that we encounter every day!

Much love,
Peace & Blessings

[A lot of these similarities were pointed out to me by one website in specific, thanks to The Master's Prayer Network and their character studies!]